The bigger you get, the more people want a piece of you. Vendors pitching “just 15 minutes.” Other founders wanting to “pick your brain.” Board members with a tangential ask that somehow becomes a whole project. None of these people are wrong to ask. But you’re not obligated to say yes to all of them, and every yes you give away is a yes you’re not giving to the handful of things that actually move your business forward.
We call the worst offenders ASKholes — not because the ask itself is unreasonable, but because there’s no reciprocity, no respect for the boundary, and often a second and third ask right behind the first. If you’ve ever thought “a lot of people want my input, and I genuinely don’t have time to give it to everyone,” this one’s for you.
Saying no to what doesn’t move the needle is what makes room to say a real, whole-hearted yes to what does. Here are templates across three formats — text, email, and a verbal script — for the asks that come up most.
Text Templates
The quick redirect: “Hey! Really appreciate you thinking of me — I’m heads-down this month, but [name] on my team would be a great person to loop in. Want me to make the intro?”
The not-right-now: “This sounds interesting, but I don’t have bandwidth to do it justice right now. Circle back with me in Q[X] if it’s still relevant?”
Email Templates
The polite decline with a door left open: “Thanks so much for thinking of me for this. I have to pass for now — my plate’s full with [current priority], and I’d rather say no than say yes and not give it the attention it deserves. Please keep me in mind for future opportunities that fit better.”
The redirect-to-async: “I’d love to help, and I think this is better served by a written answer than a call — mind sending your specific questions over and I’ll respond by [date]?”
The delegate-the-scheduling: “Looping in [assistant/EA] to find a time that works, if this is still something you’d like to move forward on.”
Verbal / Live Conversation Script
When someone asks in person or on a call and you need to decline in the moment: “I really appreciate you asking me directly — I have to be honest that I can’t take this on right now without dropping something else that matters more. Let’s revisit in [timeframe] if it still makes sense.”
The Bottom Line
Boundaries aren’t rude. An unprotected calendar is what’s actually rude to the priorities you already committed to. Clear communication protocols and a short list of ready-to-use responses let you protect your time without burning the relationship — and that’s what lets you keep showing up for the asks that are actually worth a yes.
Schedule a call if the real problem isn’t the asks — it’s that nobody’s helping you triage them in the first place.nobody’s helping you triage them in the first place.